7:50 am
Just woke up from a dream that I partially remember.
In the dream, I was working for Tenstorrent. I had just started working there after previously working for Groq, and had also already worked for Tenstorrent before working for Groq, so it was actually my second time working for Tenstorrent. I felt depressed. I was not actually doing any work and I felt bad about the fact that I kept changing jobs. For some reason the Tenstorrent office was in an old house.
While I was in the Tenstorrent office, at one point someone told me that an announcement was about to be made about the Tenstorrent IPO. I started going to the room where the television was located in order to watch the announcement, though I never arrived there and instead the dream changed. I found myself at a computer in another part of the house, and I was showing people something impressive on the computer screen. It was some kind of visualization that looked cool. Even though I was showing it to people, at first I could not remember what it was, though I knew it was something related to work. People were acting like it was something impressive that I had made, which made me uncomfortable because I was not sure if I had made it. I started saying it was something impressive that I had seen at Groq, until I remembered that it was actually something that [redacted] had shown me after I had started at Tenstorrent. Since I had just started at Tenstorrent, I did not know the people very well, and I felt embarrassed about seemingly showing off something as if I had made it even though someone at Tenstorrent had shown it to me after I had started.
I went into another room, and in the room I saw someone and told them that I wished that the government was paying my salary, so that I would not be obligated to do any work, and was just hanging out with them as friends. The person I was chatting with seemed like they understood and thought it made sense, though they made a joke about the fact that I was referring to people as friends. I still felt depressed, so I decided that I wanted to go home. I saw [redacted] and asked him how I could connect to the work network using a VPN. We had a conversation, though he did not explain how to connect using a VPN.
After this, I went to the kitchen, and I started to realize that I was actually just dreaming. The kitchen had people in it from both Tenstorrent and Groq. [redacted] was there, and so was [redacted]. Since I had realized that it was a dream, I decided to try to take control of the dream. I told people that I wanted female friends. I left the house with a bunch of the women who were in the kitchen, and we started walking somewhere else. I think we were walking towards the place where I lived.
On the way, the people that I was walking with started walking quickly, and I lost track of them. I went around a corner, and walked through a bunch of trees. I could see the people that I had been walking with in the distance. Then, suddenly, as I emerged from the trees, everything looked different. The sky was red, with clouds that were tinted red, and it was very hot outside. I could see lots of dead trees without any leaves, and I could no longer see any living trees. In front of me was a hospital and some other official looking buildings. I could see ambulances driving to and from the hospital. There were large fans around the parking lot next to the hospital blowing air on people to cool them down. After this, I woke up.
Interpretation
I was a bit reluctant to post this dream online as I was worried people might think it was strange. However, I felt it was interesting and I decided to do it anyway. I can always remove it from my website later if I decide that I no longer like it.
Elements of the dream seem like they might have been metaphors for things from my real life. I suspect that the visualization that looked cool was actually a metaphor for the paper that Intel published where my name was removed. Even though the fact that my name was removed from the paper makes it look like I was attacked, it was actually impressive that I managed to do something which caused someone to want to remove my name from the paper, which ended up being published on the official Intel website. The fact that my name was specifically removed actually kind of makes it look like I probably specifically made an important contribution. I suspect that the feeling that I had that I had worked for Tenstorrent previously was actually due to the fact that I did a job interview with Tenstorrent in 2019, which is where I was shown the paper where my name was removed.
When I wrote the first version of the description, I actually referred to the women that left the kitchen with me as "people who were female". I decided to change the phrase to the word "women" because I wanted to emphasise that they were actually women and that the group did not include males that just had feminine qualities in some way. However, for the last paragraph I decided to refer to them as "people" because by this point in the dream, their female qualities were not being emphasized. I also did not want to make it seem like the negative description at the end of the dream was associated with the fact that they were women, because it was not. I actually think that the description at the end was caused by concerns about climate change, and also the fact that the weather in Toronto has actually been hot over the last week or so. I also actually have a fan in my real bedroom which I usually leave turned on while I am sleeping, and I might have been partially aware of this during my dream, which might be why I saw the large fans at the end of the dream.
I still really want a girlfriend and female friends, and most likely whether or not I leave this description on my website depends on whether or not it seems like it will have a positive or negative impact on how women might react if they read it. I also do plan to stop bragging about the fact that my name was removed from the Intel paper at some point, right now it is just an important part of explaining things that have happened to me.